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Post by Narye Matsuya on Aug 11, 2012 14:16:54 GMT -5
The subject of his wife was one that, in the back of his mind, Narye knew would come up again. It was more a matter of time than possibility given just how big an issue it was. The possibility of it coming up so soon, however, seemed like a slim one to him. But there it was, the morning after a disatrous and drunken night. There were zero ways to avoid it or sidestep or avoid the question altogether, not that he felt the compulsion strangely enough.
It did make him freeze for a moment at the suddeness of it coming up. But it was only for a moment, and he let himself finish his current bite without any coughing or hacking. He focused on his food, playing with it like a small child. Talking about his wife or child was something he didn't do very often since they disappeared and he needed to muster some more willpower to do it now. After a deep breath, he started talking.
"My wife, Yumi... She was, um, my opposite... I was an uncouth country kid and she was a city princess. Not the snooty kind, the sheltered kind."
His first thought was when they first met. Her family had bought a big fancy summer home near where Navvi lived in the countryside, and they threw a housewarming party for the local community(read: to show off to the country folks). Narye had gone with his father but ended up hanging out with his buddies on the edhe of property, where there was a treeline. Yumi had shyly come over to try and mingle and, despite what most people thought of a group of teenage boys, was welcomed to the group. They were mostly friendly, some of them made half-attempts at flirting, but he and Yumi hit it off the most. Later, she would admit to finding Narye's wildness to be what drew her to him.
"She was all prim and proper, manners and femininity. Like she had been groomed to be a perfect wife. Then I got to her..."
Narye chuckled at that. Going by what Yumi's mother thought, one would think that Narye was some kind of demon that soiled and corrupted her perfect daughter. But to Narye, it was more like he found the Inner Yumi that had been repressed for so long, and allowed it bloom a bit.
"... But still. She stayed a sweet, kind, polite, and well-mannered woman... when she was around other people. She'd only let her wild side out when she was alone with me."
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Post by Saaga Sun on Aug 11, 2012 14:57:27 GMT -5
At first Saaga thought that he was not going to answer her question. He just sat there and picked on his food like he was some misbehaved little boy. That assessment wasn’t too far from the truth when she thought about it, but his initial sluggishness in getting to the point made her feel a bit annoyed. She frowned at him a little and finished her coffee, putting the mug on the table with a rather heated hand motion.
And then he started talking and she froze for a moment, having not expected for it to actually happen. She listened to him go on about his wife and the way he talked about her made her feel uncomfortably sad. There was of course something akin to sadness she could pick up from his tone, which was only to be expected considering how his marriage had played out, but Saaga had not really prepared herself to hear him speak of her so…warmly.
She felt something unsettling in the pit of her stomach and she doubted it was the hangover. It felt like something dark and sharp and malicious was festering there, but she could not guess what it was. She had thought to be taking this much more casually, but now her mind was filled with doubt. Did she really want to hear him talk about his wife, or was her inquiry just a form of masochism?
“Aah, the sheltered kind…That must be your type or something,” she thought to herself and crossed her arms without thinking.
She could not help but compare herself to his wife, wondering where and how she’d been raised and if she’d had a similar background to her. Asking about it seemed pointless though so she let him go on with his talking without interruption.
When he mentioned of his wife having been all prim and proper until he’d gotten to her, Saaga had to fight the urge to roll her eyes. Her lips did form into a small pout, but at least she managed not to show any really obvious signs of passive aggressiveness.
“Hmh…Well, she’s not the only one you got to.”
She wanted to slap herself for even thinking it. What was wrong with her? She had no right to judge him for something that had happened ages ago. He didn’t owe her anything. They didn’t owe each other anything. In fact, why was it so important for her to even know about these things? She could have just as easily gotten dressed and left to move on with her life. It wasn’t that big of a deal.
And yet, there she continued to sit and listen.
“You sound as if you were very happy…” she started, not quite managing to sound as upbeat as she’d intended and after spending a short moment staring at her empty coffee mug, continued: “Do you have any idea why she left? Did you have problems?”
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Post by Narye Matsuya on Aug 11, 2012 15:21:46 GMT -5
Even Narye wasn't dumb enough not to pick up on a few of the signals Saaga was throwing out, when he happened to look away from his food of course. At first he was a little offended, just as an immediate reaction. Why was she getting mad at him? She asked the question. Then Narye got it, at least he thought he did. Here he was in some kind of relationship with this young woman but talking, very warmly, about another woman he had a relationship with. Even the dual layers of being hungover AND being a male couldn't prevent Narye from realizing how bad that was.
But skirting the issue seemed completely out of the question. He just wasn't in the mood to start arguing or backpedaling, and neither of them was the type to sugar coat their words or thoughts. She asked the question. Narye answered without much censoring. That was the end of it.
"Yeah... We were a pretty happy family..."
Her next questions were ones that he had asked himself those three years ago. Why? Did Narye do something wrong? Was Yumi hiding something from him? But then why was Chiru gone too? That was the worst part of them just disappearing. The questions. With no closure, Narye had spent weeks and months dissecting everything he could think of to find some reason or answer. Nothing made sense though and he was left where he started.
"No idea, Saaga. None. It wasn't a fairy tale but we didn't fight much, if at all, and it was usually based on stress and not because there was somethin' inherently wrong with the marriage... It was like they poofed into thin air."
He couldn't help himself. If Saaga was going to bring up the issue of his family, Narye was going to bring up the issue of her reactions. If they were going to have some deep talks, then it should be two way.
"I hope you're not gettin' too upset, Saaga. I don't want you to compare yourself to her. I know I'm not... You gotta understand... Of course I loved her and my daughter, but... y'know... Time heals all wounds, even if you don't want them to heal... My father kinda told me that when my mother left..."
That was a bit of extra information that Narye didn't really mean to put out there, but he felt that it wasn't nearly as big of an issue as his family.
"When I look at you, I see you. Not a replacement."
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Post by Saaga Sun on Aug 11, 2012 16:33:37 GMT -5
The whole idea of his family just up and disappearing seemed very suspicious to Saaga. Not really because she thought he might be lying, but because she could not really grasp the concept of someone wanting to get away from someone they supposedly loved.
She had been raised in a very family-oriented society, where people looked after and helped each other with no regard to whether they were family or neighbors or strangers. Of course her culture had also been very patriarchal and demeaning towards women, but no matter how much she hated aspects of it, she’d always view everyone on the island as one collective family.
That was why the disappearance of Narye’s family puzzled her. She could not really come up with a valid reason why someone would want to leave him, at least based on what he had just told her. He did not seem like the kind of person who’d be violent, though how much did she really know about him…Maybe this Yumi had another man? But leaving without even a note or some clue? It seemed a bit much after such a long union.
And who was to say that after leaving so suddenly, his wife could not come back suddenly as well? Then what would he do? What would she do?
Saaga was in deep thought over it, but jolted back into reality when he addressed her. She blinked and when she realized what he was insinuating, felt her cheeks turn a shade or two redder.
“Upset? W-why would I be upset? I mean, what’s one marriage right?”
She laughed nervously while saying it and stood up from her chair, proceeding to pace around the room, trying to avoid directly looking at him. Of course he’d loved his wife and daughter. Why the hell would he have married her if he didn’t? Why have a kid if not to raise and love her? Fact of the matter was however that he was still technically married. She had no real claim to him.
“There are some wounds time can never heal,” she said quietly and paced a little slower feeling that darkness in the pit of her stomach growing. She wasn’t at all sure how she was supposed to deal with this. The practical little devil in her head was urging her to leave him and go back to being that workaholic glassmith with a sharp tongue everyone knew her to be. There’d be no weird feelings to decipher and no disappointments to be had.
And there would be no fear of losing someone.
“You see me? You don’t even really know me…” she said, her voice quiet and a little sad. She combed her fingers through her hair and bit her lower lip. This kind of emotional whiplash was something she was not used to. She had gone through so much to distance herself from such feelings that it was increasingly difficult for her to come to grips with them.
He’d been married with that woman for such a long time. He’d only met with her for three times. They didn’t really have a concrete relationship. If his wife chose to come back what were the odds that he would choose Saaga over her?
The fact that she was having these thoughts felt disturbing and strange and wrong to her. It was as if she was changing into a different person. It was scary and unnatural.
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Post by Narye Matsuya on Aug 11, 2012 17:27:26 GMT -5
Narye couldn't bring himself to really say anything while Saaga got up and paced around the room. He had suddenly lost his appetite and now he was left alone at the table, bent over like a man at an interrogation, wondering what to say next. The good thing about the situation was that they were both sober and, while hungover, were capable of careful thought without things just spilling out of their mouth. The bad thing was that this was a particularly hard conversation to be having. So many emotions and thoughts were flooding the room, quietly but overwhelmings. In a way, both of them were threatening to collapse under the heavy atmosphere.
Now that he was talking about it, Narye was also wondering what the implications were of trying to start something deeper with Saaga while the possibility of Yumi and Chiru still being out there somewhere existed. Was it still cheating? Was he allowed to even consider being with another woman if Yumi wasn't officially found or something? What the hell would Chiru think if she found out her father was dating a girl whom was only a few years older than her?
His answers came when Saaga said he didn't even know her. In response, Narye raised his voice, but not too much. But his energy came through in his tone.
"But I WANT to know you!"
Narye jumped up from the table, nearly toppling his chair. He groaned and held his head for a second, his brain hurting from the sudden movement, but then he immediately went up to Saaga and held her by the shoulders, looking into her eyes.
"I-I mean, I'll never forget Yumi or Chiru... But I want to be happy too... And I told you, you make me happy..."
Oh god, why was he saying all of this? He was sober, right? Why was he letting all of these words come out? Even if they were just as true... Though... A thought came over Narye, and it showed on his face. He looked away for a second in thought, then looked back at Saaga with a less confident face.
"Unless... Do I not make you happy, Saaga?"
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Post by Saaga Sun on Aug 11, 2012 18:14:06 GMT -5
Saaga was startled into stopping her pacing by what he said and soon she found herself being firmly held in place by the shoulders. At first she could not do anything but turn her head to stare at his hands, both in turn and then to look at his face eyes round and surprised.
What he said was true of course. He could never fully forget his family and she would have probably hated him if he ever did. And everyone had a right to be happy and lead a fulfilling life, she knew that. But she could not help but feel anxious.
For one, she had not thought of their age gap as a bad thing even once, but now that she knew he had a daughter who was only a few years younger than her, she suddenly felt it pressing down on her shoulders. They were on completely different levels of maturity and not just in regards to physical age. He had raised a child while she was still of the mentality that children were squishy squealy things that would break if you touched them, or even worse start bawling like mad. Weirdly she did not think much of his age, but instead felt like she should have been older.
But his words made her feel a little light-headed as well, despite there being an emotional knot in her stomach and she felt a kind of warmth in her chest when he said she made him happy. No one ever told her she made them happy. She was reliable, they’d say or dependable and useful, but she was never a source for happiness.
His question dropped her back from the clouds however. She felt a similar kind of anxiety as when master Zhang had asked her if she was in love. Her chest felt tight and she feared a wrong answer would end up driving him away. She didn’t want that. What she wanted was time to figure things out, but it looked like there were only two ways out and the other seemed only slightly less scary than the other. She decided rather quickly to take the plunge.
She found herself grabbing onto his shirt and pressing her face against his chest as she replied: “Yes.”
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Post by Narye Matsuya on Aug 11, 2012 18:57:31 GMT -5
Narye didn't burst out into celebration when he heard Saaga's answer, and felt it in his chest. In fact, it took him a second to realize she had answered at all. When he did finally register that she had said something, and that it was the answer his heart hoped for, Narye simply smiled and fully wrapped his arms around Saaga, hugging her close to him. His hand came up to cradle the back of her head and hold it close to his chest while he rested his head on her, putting Saaga into a nearly full-body hug.
It was a simple celebration of a simple answer to a less-than-simple question. Though "celebration" seemed like an improper word for Narye was feeling. He hadn't just won a contest nor had he "won" anything. It was just Saaga affirming Narye's feelings, and giving them the chance to make something of their relationship. It was the first major step to seeing if a certain four letter "L" word could blossum between them.
As he held her in a tight embrace, Narye was already thinking about the nuances of trying to have an intimate relationship with Saaga. Though she showed a lot maturity for her age, Saaga was still just a girl in some respects. Narye would have to remember that at times. First and foremost, the subject of children would not be coming up any time soon. Which was fine since Narye was even considering them.
After the long embrace, Narye spoke up after looking at the abandoned food on the table, and realizing that they were hugging while still in their undergarments. That last realization had a not-unexpected effect on Narye's body. Here he was sharing a tender moment with the girl he felt strongly for, and his body was having other ideas. He tried to ignore it.
"You want to finish eating, or just wanna get washed up or what?"
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Post by Saaga Sun on Aug 11, 2012 20:21:16 GMT -5
Saaga was not entirely sure what to make of the embrace. On the other hand it was nice to be cradled in someone’s arms and she felt warm and even a little drowsy. But, on the other hand Narye’s shirt had the distinct smell of smoke and old booze that was prevalent in most bars and tended to stick to clothing even if you were lucky enough to avoid any spillage. She also felt awkward to have him touching her hair. The previous night it had been sweaty and frizzy and now you could probably add the term greasy to the list. She felt a shudder run up her spine just thinking it.
She patted him on the back once and a second time, before making attempts at escaping his clutches. She didn’t try very hard until she felt him pressing against her lower abdomen, at which point she suddenly found her motivation to get untangled from him.
She looked at him a little curiously and raised an eyebrow, her expression a mix of mild amusement and disbelief. She hadn’t thought that after all that emotional stress and serious talk, he’d be able to bounce back so quickly. Saaga knew for certain she wasn’t.
A small part of her felt that this whole thing was a much bigger issue and what they were doing now was just them sweeping it under a rug. Out of sight, out of mind, except she was still thinking about it. She wondered how long it would take for her to feel confident about being with him. An age for sure if she was going to be bent on painting devils on the walls before they had even seriously tried this thing out.
She pushed the thoughts of his wife and daughter to some dark corner of her brain and smiled at him.
“I want to take a bath. A long one,” she said grinning, not paying any attention to the state of the dining table. Of course dishes needed to be washed, food stuffs needed to be put away, but what she really wanted was to not smell like booze and sweat.
She also wanted to get dressed, but thinking back on her clothes she was reminded of the state of her sake-stained vest. Urgh, getting into dirty clothes after washing up was not tempting her in the slightest.
“Um…Can I borrow a clean shirt afterwards? I promise I’ll wash it before returning it,” she asked, fiddling her hands in thought.
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Post by Narye Matsuya on Aug 11, 2012 22:32:52 GMT -5
It was in Narye's personality to bounce back quickly from tough situations. Not because he honestly thought it was all over and done with, or because he had extremely short memory, but because he preferred to quickly balance out the lows with the highs. They could come back to talking about how the two of them would work out at a later time, perhaps they had eaten and cleaned-up. Admitting that they were willing to try to take the next step in their relationship seemed like a big enough step, one that seemed to warrant an emotional break of some kind.
Narye did not resist Saaga pulling away from him, and he could not exactly blame her. Looking down, he sort of felt and looked like a schoolboy during his first slow dance. He quickly looked away from it and pretended nothing had happened and went back to Saaga, Smiling.
"Alright. Go ahead and get washed-up. I'll set out some clean clothes for ya, and hey... I promise you won't regret givin' Us a chance."
Turning back to the table, started cleaning up after them. Neither of them ate everything and he didn't think they would, but now their stomachs would be more settled than they were before. Afterward he'd set out some clothes for Saaga to choose from. Everything of his was too big but it sounded like she just needed something to wear about the house while her own clothes were cleaned. He resisted the devious little urge to try and join her in the tub. Now was not the time to be horny.
He didn't know what her plans were for today. All he knew was that he didn't have to go to work, so his day was open to spend with Saaga and hash out the finer points of their feelings. Narye got the sneaking suspicion that he was going a little too fast again, but they had made that first plunge together so now it was time to figure out where they stood after that.
To Narye, he was actually kind of elated. He really did have strong feelings for Saaga. He also knew that he brought a lot of baggage with him and it wasn't exactly fair to her to let her deal with it alone. Saaga was a smart and strong girl, but Narye wanted to know more about her and perhaps help her deal with whatever baggage she may have. It was all a little complicated and convoluted, but no relationship was perfect. Narye held out hope for the two of them.
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Post by Saaga Sun on Aug 12, 2012 23:51:44 GMT -5
She smiled and walked past him to the bathroom, pausing just for a moment to brush his hand with her fingers. It was nice of him to let her have some privacy and time to think, even though she was a bit sorry she was basically forcing him to tip toe around in his own home.
Saaga wasn’t really objecting to hugs and cuddles, but sometimes it was good to just be alone for a little while and breathe. Especially when rebounding from emotional upheavals and all that good stuff.
She started filling up the tub and sat on a small wooden wash stool, keeping an eye on the water level and temperature. Watching the water rushing down from the pipes was soothing and she rested her head on the edge of the bath to watch it swirl around in the bottom.
She noted that it took quite some time to get the tub full and no doubt it would take a while to empty and refill it as well. As she was a frequent visitor of public bath houses and had no place to wash up at home, she was not really accustomed to take such things into consideration. She glanced at the door and frowned a little. It seemed a bit unfair to make him wait so long to get a chance to wash up.
She thought for a moment, closed the tap and walked to open the door.
“Are you sure you don’t want to join me? Seems a bit wasteful to go separately. Anyway, I’m going in now so…” she called out to him and then went on to get undressed, not waiting for a response. He’d show up or he wouldn’t, but she had at least given him a choice on the matter.
She set her undergarments aside and stepped into the tub, sighing deep as the hot water encircled her. Immediately after sitting down, she dunked her head in the water and pulled it out with a splash, combing her wet hair with her fingers. Leaning back she looked at the ceiling and smiled. Aside from the noises coming from whatever Narye was doing, it was so quiet.
It was a nice feeling, just soaking there and not being in a hurry to get to anywhere. She would need to get to the shop later in the afternoon, though not for work. She had told her boss she’d be taking the day off and though he’d objected to it at first he could not have said no what with Tseng being right there. But she wanted to go and have a talk with him. Considering if she was going to be spending more time with Narye in the future, it would do no good if things continued to be awkward at work. A serious conversation was in order. She seemed to be having a lot of those anyway.
But there was no need to hurry. Right now she was going to enjoy every moment of her heavenly bath. She thought she might actually get used to these kinds of little luxuries.
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