[Saaga] Life Does Surprise

[Tahrro Gao Zhai]

�I see,� he replied simply to her admission before enjoying another taste of noodles. His entire posture was straight, proper, aristocratic even, with not a hair out of place, locks shining of care and health. The formality in his every gesture was something her presence inspired although he reasoned she would enjoy anything but. Regardless, he felt the need to behave, withhold his impulses, careful not to tread on some invisible boundary and he did not know why, only that it happened.

Silence wouldn�t have displeased him, but he had resolved to make an effort at conversation since before even arriving. When she expressed her playing approach his eyes lifted from the box of noodles, calm blue sharp as a fresh blade. He was the collected type. �Relying on defense alone can lead you to defeat just as surely,� he commented, working his chopsticks around another bunch of noodles. �But I know what you mean; impulsiveness can lead you there faster.� Tahrro was only impulsive when he pursued something that made him take leave of his senses or was inebriated; otherwise everything he did went through a filter first.

In no time he finished a box full of noodles, eating as if on the run, but without making the slightest mess or appearing sloppy. It wasn�t a conscious decision, he always ate like that. He paused before starting on the next. �How often do you play? I haven�t had a change to practice in several years. Last time I had the opportunity of a game was in a hut by the river with a textile merchant. He was an avid player. I lost a lot more than I won against him.� No matter how thoughtful you were, experience would always win the day.

�I could also do with your expertise on where to find the best tea in this city.� His eyes travelled across the general populace currently inside the Noodlery when his eyes landed on two teenage girls who were laughing wildly at each other�s words as if the little gossip they were sharing was the most amusing thing in the world. It was fun to watch the honest cheer on their faces. Looking back to the table, he grabbed the next box of noodles, sinking the chopsticks in them.

[Saaga Sun]

Impulsive might as well have been Saaga’s middle name. She had zero tolerance for ignorance and stupidity and if she ever witnessed something she considered to be unjust; she couldn’t help but go over to stir up trouble. She had been a part of a few riots and street protests and one time she had even spat on a metalbender’s face during an especially heated argument concerning the city’s social policy. That had landed her a night in jail and it had not been the last time she graced that particular establishment with her presence.

She might have feared for her job if protesting wasn’t the only thing she and her boss had in common. Master Zhang was pretty infamous with his opinions and not a week went by without him pelting magazines and radio channels with his opinionated writings. If only the man’s personality would have been otherwise more tolerable, they might have gotten along much better than they did.

She continued eating her noodles, eventually finishing the first course and unceremoniously starting the second one. Thank goodness she had not overestimated her need for nourishment, otherwise she would have had trouble finishing the dinner.

“I play twice or thrice a week. It depends on my work really. I have to work overtime pretty often,” she answered and lifted her gaze from the noodles to look at Tahrro.

“You sound as if you’ve travelled a lot. Where have you been? And how did you end up in Republic City? Living here is not exactly glamorous,” Saaga asked him, incredulous as to why anyone would voluntarily come live in the city.

Though she had to admit her own assumptions about life in the metropolis that was Republic City, had been as naïve as anyone else’s. She had thought, she and her fellow refugees would be welcomed with open arms, getting a job would be easy and nobody would have to die anymore.

She took a sip of her oolong tea and closed her eyes for a moment out of delight. It was fresh and cool and tasted sour and sweet at the same time. When she did come to Narook’s she usually stayed for a drink and iced tea was her preferred beverage.

“I don’t know if I’m much of an expert, but I do know a few good tea shops. There’s one near Tiger Flats, I’m especially fond of,” she said, taking a mouthful of noodles again.

[Tahrro Gao Zhai]

Tahrro kept his cool even when every fiber of his being was in outrage. If he were to disagree thoroughly, his disapproval would remain a mystery to the person of his opposition, until he fashioned a proper way to let them know about it. He didn’t enjoy being upfront with his enemies. The deadlier and twisted they were, the less fair he fought against them. There was no honor in a stupid death nor did he like losing the element of surprise. When and if he took up a cause, it was against things of immoral standard and the people that were behind it were just as worthless. He did not owe them the honor of a fair fight and would poison their food in the night if that was what it boiled down to. In more harmless circumstances, he still played the game of subtlety.

She played twice or thrice more a week than he did, considering he barely had acquaintances and what little time he did have outside work he spent getting familiar with the city and trying to meet people. Despite his oftentimes closed personality, he wasn’t solitary and enjoyed meeting new people he could try to understand. He also had no illusions about being able to live without company. As hard as it was for him to truly warm up to someone and as much as he wanted to stay away from bad experiences, his want to try was greater than that. On the rare occasion, people instantly inspired him to open up.

Saaga asked about his travels and he downed another mouthful of noodles. “From the rich streets of the earth kingdom to the slums of the fire nation and through the cold of the north.” Basically, everywhere from a culture covering perspective. His four years of tireless wandering felt like a lifetime in its own right because of the experiences had. “I didn’t “end up” here,” he chose to correct, and enjoyed more noodles before choosing to reply. “I came here on purpose. What exactly do you define as “glamorous”? Because if there’s anything that could describe this city, it’s that from my perspective.” The city had a delightful cultural mix, it was home to the greatest technological advancements of the time, sported modernistic constructions across its streets, was base for the most varied forms of entertainment, including Pro Bending. Where could you find more “glamor” than that.

“Near the Tiger Flats, I’ll check it out,” he replied, intending to do so later that week. If there was anything that encouraged disappointment, it was not finding a proper tea shop. “What’s it called?” He dug into the salad, now mixing takes from it between noodles. His stomach was slowly growing full and the two boxes of noodles plus salad would soon prove a slight excess, but it was worth living rich for a meal every once in a while. “And what about you? How long has the city been your home and what brought you here?” The apple juice wasn’t as pleasing as he had expected.

[Saaga Sun]

Travelling the world was one of the many things Saaga wanted to do during her existence on this earth and she felt a tad bit envious of Tahrro as the man listed the many places he had visited. There was something about the way he said it that gave Saaga the impression that he thought nothing of it, like it was natural to move around. Or maybe she was just over reading the situation.

She had only ever been to Republic City and a little Earth Kingdom port town when she was a child. Other than that she had spent her entire life in seclusion, only ever coming to contact with other cultures when merchants happened to make pit stops on their tiny harbor. Those had been rare occasions, almost worth a celebration.

When she had first come to Republic City, or rather when she had been let out of quarantine, she was too focused on surviving to look around her and really see what the city had to offer. And once she had to endure the starvation and the job hunting and the horrible living conditions in the ghettos before finding a place to live, the city had lost its luster in her eyes.

It was true there were many amazing things about the city, but a lot of them were only accessible to people with funds and in her eyes those amazing things just seemed to be gilding on the surface of a worthless trinket.

But even with all her skepticism she saw possibilities. She thought the city could be changed for the better, and she wanted to be a part of that change.

“A place where everyone would have the same opportunities in gaining work and lodging. And where there would be a little less organized crime. That would be more glamorous, though I freely admit that I might be a bit biased. I haven’t exactly had the best view of this city,” she laughed in response, digging into her noodles and eating away. She glanced at the salad and felt she might have trouble with finishing it after all.

“The Phoenix' Tears. It’s right around the north side of Tiger Flats, just where the districts meet,” she answered and thought of the old lady running the place. She was almost eighty years old and was the second generation to take over the business. The teashop had been established a while before the end of the Great War, when Republic City was still the colony of Yudao. Apparently the owners harbored some pro-imperial sentiments, but at least they made good affordable tea.

Another rather personal question from Tahrro, but this time Saaga was somewhat prepared for it. He seemed like the sort of person to be curious about everything and she didn’t hold it against him. She ate in silence for a short moment, thinking about what to say.

“I came here around three and a half years ago as a refugee. A plague hit my home island and Republic City was the closest place where we could get help. Too bad it didn’t work out well,” she replied to him finally, deciding that if he really wanted to know, she might as well tell him. Talking about it felt easier than she had previously thought, like a heavy stone had rolled a side from her chest. She was so used to bottling up her past that the feeling actually surprised her. At home they never talked about the plague, in fact the whole subject was avoided like one.

[Tahrro Gao Zhai]

“I disagree,” he said calmly. “Fairness and peace has nothing to do with glamor, if anything, crime, excess and discrepancies between classes is what glamor is about.” Tahrro was being a pest about the word choice and he knew it. “But I see what you mean. A better city would include all of your desires. Unfortunately, I’ve yet to see a place, that’s not a small village, where equal opportunity and little to no crime could be had.” It was in the nature of man, when anonymous to his neighbor, to relinquish responsibility for his actions. There was nothing like the guilt directly derivate from knowing the person you mugged or worse to lower crime rate. It was also much easier to get caught when you couldn’t exactly disappear in the crowd and everyone knew where you were at all times.

“I don’t mind the city,” Tahrro decided eventually. “People here are hired for their objective value and abilities. In that, it’s not unfair, life is unfair for not giving equal ability to everyone. Then again, if there wouldn’t be differences, certain jobs no one wants to do wouldn’t be covered at all and then where would we be?” The waterbender didn’t mind having it rough when he had it rough and thought he could have it better if he really worked for it. “In the end, it’s all about how much you’re willing to work with the natural ability that was given to you. I believe advancement in position and more opportunities can be had if one works hard enough, and isn’t completely unfortunate when it comes to natural potential.”

He finished the second box of noodles. “As for crime, it’s inevitable due to the population size.” Now fully focused on the salad, he considered. “Maybe the Avatar could do something about it, with the local council and police, but the Avatar is still a kid right now.”

Tahrro noted the name of the tea shop and nodded. The salad was delicious. The sea cucumbers were marvelous. It made him thirst for home, and water. The apple juice was doing little when it came to quenching thirst. When Saaga answered to his question, the words took him by surprise, though he showed none of it. He hadn’t meant for his question to hit such a personal detail of Saaga’s life. People usually had much harmless reasons for moving to the city, the majority revolving around looking for a more thrilling life.

“Sorry to hear about it, it must have been hard to lose your home.” He had sold his, but technically, he had not set foot inside that house since he had been a child and home was were the people in your life were, not where a physical dwelling lay. There had been no people to return to. “I see Republic City hasn’t exactly greeted you with open arms.” And he had to wonder why. It sounded as if it had been so difficult to her to find a job, whereas he had found plenty of opportunity from the second week, one of the jobs on the very first. He decided to consider the possibility she wasn’t an earthbender, there was always a place for someone of that certain talent on construction sites, in shipping companies, and basically anyone who dealt with heavy products.

“So after three and a half years, you haven’t grown attached to city life one bit?”

[Saaga Sun]

Saaga rested her chopsticks on the table and listened intently as Tahrro enlightened her on his perspective on matters of glamour and opportunity. She did not say anything, just listened, mulling over his words for a while. Her face was void of emotion; she was not angry, not amused, not anything. And by the time he came to talk about natural ability and potential, she thought maybe he’d missed her point.

When she talked about people needing to have equal opportunities in something like gaining employment, what she meant was for non-benders to have the same opportunities as benders. She had discovered first hand, that not only were her talents very specific; she also possessed a disadvantage against any firebender who happened to work in the same field as her. Even though her skills as a glassmith were on par with many of her competitors, the fact that she was a non-bender worked against her when a firebender could do the work in half the time, just because they possessed the ability to shoot fire out of their hands. Of course that was part of their natural ability, but to her it seemed rather unfair. She did not want to blame the bender; in her mind the problem lay in the system that seemed to favor them.

“I know it’s not possible to abolish crime completely. People do have free will after all. And I don’t think every problem in this world should be stacked on the Avatar’s shoulders. People should take some responsibility for themselves too. If the police and council took on a more active role and tried to do something about the situation pre-emptively, maybe many people could be saved from going down that path. Education, food lines in the ghettos. Something like that,” she gave her piece on the matter of crime in the city, choosing not to go into a debate of ability and privilege just yet.

She didn’t know enough about Tahrro to fully understand where he was coming from, though she begrudgingly accepted some of his points. And he did not know that much about her either.

“Sorry to hear about it, it must have been hard to lose your home.”

Saaga smiled at this, a little sad and eventually shrugged her shoulders, not intending to seem indifferent to the matter.

“It was, but at least then we had hope. I believed we would get help; some healer would come take a look at all those infected. Instead we were put into quarantine for two months and got pushed around from one officer to the next. No one seemed to know what to do with us. When people stopped dying they eventually let us out,” she confided to him and took chopsticks in hand again to continue her dinner. The noodles had started to turn cold, but there was so little of them left she did not want to waste them.

“Well, I’ve had to struggle. I lived in the ghetto for months before I found work. After that, things started picking up somewhat. And I wouldn’t go so far as to say I completely hate living here, but I’m not really fond of it either. Let’s say I’m attached to some aspects of city life,” she answered him, laughing and pushed aside the now empty dish of noodles.

[Tahrro Gao Zhai]

Although Tahrro wouldn’t openly admit it, he treated the existence or inexistence of bending when dealing with employment as the law of the jungle. Some were just better equipped to face demands than others, but that didn’t mean all of the others had to go hungry, they just didn’t get the best meals. It wasn’t benders’ fault that they were born with an extra advantage and Tahrro considered non-benders should direct their attention towards fields that didn’t necessarily consider bending an asset. Engineers, inventors, writers, designers and tailors, furniture manufacturers, dancers and jugglers, these were but a few professions where it wouldn’t matter if you could control an element or not.

“Maybe in time,” Tahrro agreed with her take on crime and crime preventive measures. “The council is probably not overlooking these problems, but there’s only so much they can focus on at the same time. Besides…” He paused to finish a mouthful of salad, the vegetable mix, although delicious, not all that welcome in his full stomach. “A handful of people can’t fix everything overnight, it has to be a community effort. Even if the people in charge propose a motion and erect a new building, the citizens have to come forward and fill the roles required within. I don’t even know how Republic City stands financially to get a good perspective on how much the resources could do.” If there was one thing Tahrro didn’t like, it was people criticizing the system when they didn’t lift a finger to change anything. Citizens everywhere complained about what the few people in charge didn’t do while having no project initiative of their own whatsoever.

Quiet now, he listened to her tale as he finished the salad. The sort of indifference she had gone through was everywhere. Most people were too busy taking care of their own problems to complicate their lives trying to help strangers. It didn’t help when there was a whole city of people who could interfere in some small but significant way; the numbers just decreased the sense of responsibility felt by each individual. It was easy to erase your guilt by thinking that maybe the next person will help them. “That sounds like quite an ordeal,” he admitted, looking up from what remained of his salad across to her. The worst thing was that he couldn’t feel shocked by the tragedy she imparted, so often had he seen such things happen, but he did feel sympathetic and wished, that in some small way, he could dull the stains of grey caused by her experience. However, he hadn’t the faintest clue how. “I hope you never have to go through times quite so trying again,” he said in a tone just that slightly softer.

Finishing his salad while she expanded on her feelings towards city life, he set aside the chopsticks and pushed the bowl towards the middle of the table, making room for his elbows, hands once more rising to cushion his chin. She was definitely not a bender. The sheer amount of time she had spent searching for work could make him think that. Lifting an eyebrow minimally, he tilted his head slightly to the side. “And what aspects are those?” His tone was light and he watched her calmly, freely committing to memory all the aspects of her face. It was a wonder to him, how she could wish to laugh right after sharing such dark experiences. It didn’t seem natural. Or perhaps, by treating them lightly, so they became.

[Saaga Sun]

Saaga did not say what she thought of the council. In her opinion it was ridiculous that the council consisted of only five members and those members represented the nations of the world instead of the actual city they were supposed to be the council of. She thought it would’ve been better if the United Republic had its own council and Republic City had its own, with members voted by the citizens. And the two councils could work together to decide matters. Just five people running the joint on behalf of thousands, was completely banal; it seemed to her. Not to mention the council did not have a single non-bender representative. Just thinking about the sheer imbalance of the system made her frustrated and angry. She bit her tongue to keep from lashing out on Tahrro; it was not like it was his fault.

She knew this was a subject that for her was very personal and made her emotions bubble up to the surface. She did not wish to show vulnerability in front of a man, who although kind was still a stranger to her.

She thought back to her life on the island and how things were handled there. There had been a council of so called elders, who had been voted to their post by the islanders. There had been fifteen in total. All the families also had one representative each and when important problems were being discussed, they were put to a vote, with the elders presiding over the matter. It had not been perfect and she did not have the clearest memory of how things were done, being a woman and not yet of age when the plague had hit. There was also the island’s population to consider; a little over a couple hundred. They had been in decline even before the plague hit.

“That’s what I miss the most about my old life…That community effort,” she said and did not laugh this time. She took a few larger bites of her salad, trying to summon her high spirits back. It was hard with the conversation having taken a turn for the melancholic side.

Saaga tended to decorate her sentences with flourishes of laughter especially when she was pressed about an issue that was hurtful or depressing to her. It was her favorite coping mechanism. If she could make light of a bad situation, it could not be used to hurt her. It was too bad, she could not fool herself as well as she would have liked.

Luckily Tahrro seemed to turn the conversation to a more favorable track and Saaga was happy to oblige him. It would perhaps be better if she could maneuver their talk to a less dark course.

“Well…I love that nobody treats me differently because I am a woman. I never really experienced gender equality before I came here. And I like seeing fresh faces every day and meeting new people. Hmm, in general I think I love the fact that I’ve managed to break free from routines and traditions to an extent. For all my criticisms, I would not be able to live freely if the plague had never happened,” she told him, getting rather excited before blurting out the last sentence.

So much for not going down the dark path.
She did not apologize this time, and she did not laugh either. The salad was a comfort while she composed herself and relatively soon she was able to ask: “So uh…What do you do? For a living I mean.”

[Tahrro Gao Zhai]

Tahrro silently related. Back in the Northern Water tribe, everyone felt much more connected and worked as a unit. People didn’t starve on the streets and there was a place and something to do for anyone. “The people here don’t feel part of the same team,” he considered. “There is no “community”, just many groups trying to share the same territory.” It sounded like the domain of gangs but it could ring just as true for two different families of different cultural backgrounds. What the city really needed was a common cause.

It was somewhat hard for Tahrro to understand why it was upsetting for most people to talk about dark matters or share dark experiences just because he didn’t experience it the same himself. There was no deep drawer where he stored the darkness of the past, it was part of him every day, easy enough to talk about without necessarily tainting his disposition. In his own way, he had gotten over what had happened and accepted the consequences of their happening. Everything in the past just didn’t seem that important anymore when living in the present. Maybe it was his personal brand of queer.

Saaga enlightened him about what she did enjoy of the city experience. He could tell he was thinking on poking at matters she’d rather not recall, because they so quickly connected with the core of sadness in her past, but his curiosity was paramount. “What sort of freedoms were you denied in your community?” He was interested in specifics; he always was in such contexts. Still, he had to note how she had found the bright side even in her greatest misfortune, there was always a bright side even in the most rotten of experiences.

She asked a question and he lent back in his seat, drawing his arms off the table as he did. “I stack crates and keep cabbages moisturized at Cabbage Corp, work as barback at Pearl Nights and am training under a supervisor to become an accountant for Future Industries,” he listed and picked up the apple juice to take a sip. “Hopefully it won’t be long before I get the last job, I want to drop one of the others or both.” It was too much work and he felt like he was neglecting his bending. It also screwed up his sleep, especially when he had to do night shifts at the bar and wake up early to stack cabbages, or in cases where they came in succession, lose sleep and then pass out until he needed to get up for his next job. He didn’t look forward to tomorrow.

A waitress passed by them and he motioned for her to bring their tab. Leaning in on the table again, something quietly devious sparkled in his eyes as he stared at his company. “Hey Saaga, how high would you rate your adventurous spirit?”

[Saaga Sun]

Her past was something Saaga was certain she had put behind her, but even with her adamant refusal to acknowledge her hurt and her tendency to ignore her need for crying and comfort, it kept bubbling up to the surface. Or rather it did so because of her decision to forsake her own emotional needs in favor of being the emotional center for the other survivors of the plague. She was the one who had ushered them towards a new life and pushed them forward when things were rough. By the time they’d gotten their lives on track again, it had been too late for her to start sorting out her feelings. If she broke down, how would the others cope? They were not as strong as her. That’s what she had thought all this time and many times she had wondered if she was just being condescending towards them, or using them for her own selfish ends.

Watching over her childhood friends, her only connection to her old island life, gave her a purpose in life and made her feel less guilty about all the wrong decisions she had made in the past. But it also didn’t help anyone of them. They could keep leaning on her for support, because she allowed it and it was selfish of her to keep them from becoming independent of her. Deep down she knew this, but did nothing about it.

Saaga could not finish her salad and she felt almost remorseful as she pushed the plate away and placed her chopsticks on the table, to be taken away by the staff. She disliked wasting food, but she could not force down another bite in fear of losing her whole dinner if she did.

When Tahrro inquired after the treatment of women on the island, or her specifically, Saaga had already been expecting that a question of some sort would arise from her vocal blunder. She had to comb through her memories for a moment to decide what to say and found it hard to form a coherent picture about the subject. Even the bad memories seemed to have gilded linings after the tragedy. She found it rather unsettling.

“Well, I got to enjoy a lot more freedom compared to the other girls since I was an only child. But generally us girls were not allowed to speak in male company, we could not practice any sort of self-defense. No woman could be a representative of their family line and we could not inherit the family fortune. Our most important function was to be as pretty as possible, train in the art of home making and wait for a suitable marriage partner,” she told Tahrro and was secretly glad she had escaped that fate, even if the cost had been almost unbearable.

She wondered if she’d ever even learned to be a glassmith if her maternal grandfather had not been a bit of an odd ball. He had walked to the beat of his own drum and insisted on passing his skills to the next generation, even if his only possible heir was a girl. He had fathered five daughters and no sons, and because of that he had no choice but to pass his knowledge to one of his daughters. And that daughter had passed it onto Saaga. It had caused quite a scandal in their village apparently and Saaga’s father was even accused of being progressive and a danger to the island’s traditions and culture since he could not even control his wife and daughter. Saaga had not known about the whole debacle until she was much older.

Saaga drank the rest of her iced tea, noting the beverage had turned lukewarm. She had almost forgotten about it while she ate, so it was no wonder.

She nodded as Tahrro told her about his many jobs and wondered if that was part of the reason why he had looked so utterly worn out when they had first met. She wondered if she could ask about the bracelet and why it was so important to him, but decided to wait for a better moment to do so.

“I hope you do too,” she responded smiling a little. It was all fine and good to be industrious and hard working, but juggling all those jobs must’ve been very taxing. She could not imagine keeping up with more than one employer; master Zhang was capable of wearing her out by himself. He did not need any help.

Saaga glanced towards the waitress as she walked by and turned her attention back to Tahrro when he asked her a question. She raised her eyebrows at him and a curious twinkle appeared in her eyes.

“I’d say that my “adventurous spirit” is well above average, thank you. Why do you ask?” she replied, grinning and felt a tinge of excitement creeping up on her.