[Saaga] Life Does Surprise

[Tahrro Gao Zhai]

Tahrro splashed cold water on his face and then stared into the mirror cracked of age and use. A moderately rested face stared back at him with only the faintest signs of weariness. It had been a long day at work and he had less than a half hour to reach Narook’s Noodlery. “Stop losing your belongings,” he told himself and pushed off the sink, throwing the work shirt as he went and pulling on a tight-fit, long sleeved, black top before the side-buttoned, sleeveless, water-tribe style blue long vest after that. Today his work had consisted of assisting the accountant he was training under at Sato Industries and it had left him all numb and restless, barely cut out for sitting around all day doing numbers. However, he was set on getting the experience. Accounting would earn him a more comfortable living someday.

In no time his hair was pulled back in a black tie, fringe comb arranged to the side, face sporting an even coating of two days stubble. All in all, balanced as he tied a water pouch at his belt and walked into comfortable sandals before heading out, he resembled none of the haggard, dirty, wild haired bum Saaga had met that day. The sun hung low on a corner of sky and the air was fresh from earlier rain. Tahrro accomplished the distance to the restaurant famous for its noodles and pushed his way inside. He had made it decently early but wove his gaze around, just in case she had beaten him to it.

Pleased that she hadn’t, he took a table, reserved two menus and browsed the selection as he waited. The atmosphere in the restaurant was thick with cheer and laughter. The air smelled of oil and parsley and everything delicious. It was then that he noticed his hunger. There were dishes on the presentation paper that he had only tasted in the Northern Water Tribe and he had to wonder how Narook preserved the ingredients. When his thoughts changed to Saaga he expected her to be punctual. She seemed like that kind of person.

[Saaga Sun]

Master Zhang was starting to grate Saaga’s nerves little by little. Earlier that week the old man had allowed her to take charge of finishing a rather big order for a restaurant near the Central City Station, but just as she was working on the finishing touches he had demoted her to babysit the shop’s apprentice. How was she supposed to prove herself to be worthy of a master’s title if she never got to finish anything she started and was instead handled all the menial tasks the apprentices normally did?

With aggressive strokes Saaga brushed her unruly hair; all curled up from working in the heat of the workshop and wondered if Zhang meant to keep her from leaving his store. A master’s title would have provided her with the means of opening her own business, something which she desired very much to do.

“Maybe I’m just reading too much into it. I’ll ask him again next week,” she thought as she dressed herself. She wore her traditional islander garb, a bright green tunic with orange and golden embroidery, sleeves coming down to her elbows, and knee length trousers of a more neutral grayish color. She cinched her waist with a bright sash, slightly frayed from the edges but she paid it no mind.

She adjusted the leather cord holding her thumb in place and slipped on her sandals before pulling on a jacket and heading out. The evening air felt humid but not too cold. She actually enjoyed the fresh air after a day spent being cooped up near a hot furnace. She took a tram and walked rest of the way to Narook’s , entering the restaurant slightly flushed by the exercise. The filchpie scratches were almost covered by the redness of her cheeks.

Seeing Narook, Saaga greeted him with a smile. It was always good to leave a positive impression on clients even if she was off duty. Then she looked around the restaurant trying to see if she could spot Tahrro in there somewhere. Of course it was possible he had not showed up yet, or maybe he didn’t even intend to. That would have been disappointing.

At first she did not recognize him; she looked over the tables two times before realizing he was actually sitting there. He looked nothing like he had two days previously.

Smiling Saaga walked to the table and sat opposite him, discarding her jacket as she did so.

“Hi. I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long,” she greeted him, wondering if she had remembered the time wrong, or if he had just arrived early.

[Tahrro Gao Zhai]

A memory of music danced through Tahrro’s mind. The jazz they played in the Orchid Lounge the second night he had decided to experience the locale had left an impression. The cheer that surrounded him offered the same lighthearted feeling that made him stop thinking. Not considering anything had its benefits, especially for the people in his company. They could get a glimpse of his less guarded self.

Barely had he finished browsing the menu when Saaga took a seat, flinging her jacket on its back. Setting the papers down he gazed up. “Evening. Not at all.” He always came early. It was a habit that persisted from childhood. Discreetly, he studied her appearance. The fact that she was draped in Earth Kingdom colors made him once again consider her origins.

“I hope you’ve brought your appetite because I’m tempted by almost everything on the menu and it would be awkward if you were one of those women who nibbled on a salad all night.” A slight half smile accompanied his words, bright blue eyes back on the menu. He did not expect her to be that kind of person. Hunger raced through his stomach. Last time he had eaten had been in the morning. They didn’t know the concept of breaks at Sato Industries, but it was worth the pay.

He had to pause for a moment and remember the last time he had had dinner with someone. A cold night at an inn placed in the middle of nowhere rushed to mind. He wondered if he would ever see the person that had sat opposite him again. The world was so very vast. “Pick a color. Blue, Green, Red or Brown,” he said, placing the menu away and bringing his hands together on it on the table as he looked to her.

[Saaga Sun]

Saaga studied Tahrro’s face for a moment and noted that he looked much healthier and well rested compared to the wreck she had seen in the park. Of course she could have guessed as much just from seeing him from the entry hall, but from this close up the contrast seemed even more striking.

She didn’t say it out loud but she thought it was good that he was taking care of himself. Whatever that bracelet meant for him, it was obviously important enough for him to lose sight of his own welfare. She did not understand this sort of obsessive behavior, but did not intend to question Tahrro about it either. It was not her place to start digging into someone’s business. It was not like they knew each other.

“Well, I’m no fine lady so I was not raised to live on nothing but morning dew and sunshine,” she answered him, feigning a sort of apologetic tone even though her eyes were twinkling in amusement and her face was all smiles again after she’d uttered the words.

Indeed she had never been one to courteously decline any second helpings, nor was she picky with food. Her parents had always told her that enjoying good foods was as important as enjoying life, because food in essence was life. There had been times when she’d thrown a temper tantrum for not always getting her favorite food and a couple of times she had even thrown away food, just to protest. At those times her father had sent her to her room and she had not been allowed to eat all until the next meal time. There was no better teacher of humility than hunger, a fact she had relearned after starving in the quarantine and on the streets.

“Pick a color. Blue, Green, Red or Brown,” Tahrro said and Saaga raised her eyebrow at this.

She looked at the man’s hands and the way he placed them on the table, then turned her gaze to his face, looking a little suspicious. She tapped the table with her left thumb, metal tapping against wood with a quiet thudding sound.

“Hmm…Blu…No, red,” she announced, changing her pick in the middle. Was this a sort of game?

[Tahrro Gao Zhai]

His eyes played across her face, briefly amused. "Good. It's no fun to dine with a potted plant." On the rare occasion in the past he had sat across demure damsels, all lashes and smiles and picking at their thin strips of carrots like they were a meal for ten. He didn't mind people caring for their looks, but did wish they would take their care into the gym instead.

Saaga faced his question with mounting suspicion and he sat back in his chair, crossing his arms and keeping a poker face. The rhythmic dull thud drew his gaze to her metal thumb. How did you lose it? He wondered quietly and was given an answer. With a nod, he reached into his pocket, drew out four miniature turtle-ducks made of burnt clay, each painted carefully.

"Red it is then," he said, placing a semi-orange bellied, red shelled and feathered turtle-duck with round gold eyes near her. The figurine could fit in the palm of her hand. He returned the rest to the shelter of his pocket. "That's yours. Her name is Lula." Tahrro had a hobby. He made clay figurines in his spare time and named each one. Occasionally, he gifted them to people. People who impressed him, people who helped him, or simply people who stuck out, in his eyes, from the crowd.

A memory assaulted him then and he decided to share it. "Last time I gave a figurine away I was in the slums of an earth kingdom village. A little girl with eyes of liquid silver and deep black hair was being bullied by boys her age. They were calling her names and pulled her hair as they kicked dirt onto her ragged skirt. Her mother sold herself to men and for this, they were both ridiculed in various ways. The child had curled up on the ground, shelling herself as best she could from the brutality of their strikes until I ushered them away and came to her side.

When she had raised her gaze to me her eyes were filled with rage and unshed tears. "Leave me alone!" She had screamed but with some words, she had consented to be taken home and I ended up being asked to stay for dinner and rest overnight, because I was just passing through the village and evening was darkening in the sky, and so I remained. Without understanding how or why, I ended up staying with the small family for a week. I repaired their crumbling roof, took Humi to the village teacher and came to take her back when the day's lesson was over. In the end, when it was time for me to leave, she had clung to me fiercely, hot tears staining her face." His eyes grew deep and distant as he recounted the tale, some nostalgia in his tone.

" "Stay with us, Tahrro!" She had begged. "If you leave, mommy will be sad again." She was talking about herself, and I knew it. Bent on one knee I pulled out a desert lion figurine and placed it in her palm. "Do you know what this is?" I had asked and she dried her eyes enough to see the clay in her hand. "No," she had replied morosely. "His name is Rahn and he'll listen to you when you're upset, stay with you when you need courage and watch over you when you sleep and darkness plays into your mind. He eats nightmares," I ended up telling her. The golden desert lion had taken me longest to make and I couldn't stay, even if a part of me had wanted to. "Keep him close and one day, he'll take you to a better place," was all I could think to say." With togethered fingers he poked a stray crumb off the table and watched it hurl onto the floor.

"Now I wonder what become of her, if my words were misplaced. The little figurine had no special powers, but I hoped the words themselves would inspire her to build a better life for herself when her smallness ended and she could take things in her own hands." Leaning back into his seat, he watched Saaga, waiting for a reaction to his spontaneous little tale and all the while wondering why he had said it, but worrying not. It was just one of those days.

A waitress came over to take their order then. "What'll it be dears?" She was grinning widely, overdoing her friendliness. He turned to her. "Narook Special Noodles, Noodles with leechy nuts, a mixed season salad with flamy-o sauce and some apple juice, please," Tahrro went ahead and ordered. The waitress scratched his wishes onto her pad and turned her gaze to Saaga, pen flipping animatedly from side to side. Tahrro returned his hands to the table and waited.

[Saaga Sun]

Saaga looked at the small clay figurine and felt her heart start racing a little, memories of old coming to mind as she felt the texture of it with her fingers. She had not received any gifts in a long time, and this was given to her as a reward she thought, out of a feeling of duty maybe. Because she had helped him. Nonetheless she felt happy to have received it and couldn’t help but think of her father as she placed Lula on the table, eyes still fixed on the painted details.

Her father had made her all sorts of toys, carved animal figurines, a whole farms worth of them. He had also made her a wooden sword after she had begged and pleaded with him for days.

“Please father! All the boys have swords and shields, why can’t I have one? Please,” she had said and her father had only laughed and told her she would intimidate all the kids if she were to have something to hit them with. Eventually he had agreed, but Saaga’s joy was short lived as her mother wanted her to have nothing to do with swordplay.

“It’s not right for a girl to do that. You will grow up and be the heart of the household. It’s the men’s job to protect you, there’s no need for you to learn and protect yourself,” she had said and Saaga had frowned at her, pouting and bitter.

“There were girls fighting in the Hundred Year War,” she had protested and her mother had stubbornly told her that maybe it was so in the big wide world, but it was not the way of their island.

She sighed to herself, at these memories invading her mind and focused instead to listen to Tahrro’s story. It was fascinating really and she thought maybe she was really sitting opposite a good gentle person. She tried to keep her guard up with him, but it was hard. She wanted to believe that not everyone in this city was an awful human being waiting to betray her in some way. Even though her past experiences kind of ate away at any lingering hopes she had.

“You know, I think you gave her hope. You helped her and made her see that not everyone is bad, there’s some good in the world. And hope is precious when you’re stuck in a dark place. Whatever became of her after that, I’m sure she remembers your kindness,” Saaga told him, her smile somewhat diminished, gone with the rush of memories.

A waitress came over and Tahrro made his order. At this point Saaga realized she had not even glanced the menu. Biting her lip in thought, she summoned a smile and said; “I’ll have the same, but no apple juice. Instead I’ll have iced oolong tea.”

She had been to Narook’s a few times but usually on business and she had never had time to actually eat there. This would be an…experience to say the least.

The waitress wrote her order down, smiled and thanked for their order and then she was gone. Her overly animated friendly attitude made goose prickles run down Saaga’s spine, but she knew it was only expected from people working in customer service.
Heck it was even expected of her, every time she made a delivery or worked the register, but she didn’t have to like it.

“Thank you for Lula. Maybe she can give me hope too, when I slip into a dark place,” she said to Tahrro after the waitress was well out of sight and petted the head of the little turtleduck figurine.

[Tahrro Gao Zhai]

Tahrro’s eyes were set on her with razor sharp thoughtfulness. From the very first day he had met her, she had given him the impression of a shelled person. The way she never asked personal questions, the way she dodged answering some of them, the way she took everything lightly, at least from what self-expression would suggest, they all fed that thought. When he had asked her availability, she had mentioned occasionally playing pai sho with elders in the park and nothing else. What she chose to highlight revealed something about herself. In this case, Tahrro chose to think, cautiousness towards people, thoughtfulness and isolation. It was his active hobby, analyzing the people immediately available to his consideration. It was always fun to see how first impressions persisted or changed drastically given time.

The smile that had played on her lips moments before was gone when she answered him. “I hope you’re right,” he commented, and immediately thought back of Humi. The tightness of her embrace was in his bones, a memory that would transcend through the years of his life. Rarely had anyone treated him with such sincere affection and vulnerability. To this day he mused about how hard it had been to walk away. Maybe one day he would return and see for himself the effect of his words. He hoped not to find the girl drowned in darkness. Five years had passed since the encounter and his words had been those of a boy of seventeen. His first clenched briefly on the table. If he had been the man of today he would have taken both mother and child away from that place.

Saaga ordered her share and Tahrro appraised her decision to mirror his selection, save the drink. Was this some sort of way to prove she could eat as much as he did or was it just a consequence of giving it no thought? He left no room for simple coincidence. In the end, it wasn’t worth exhaustive thought, but he was so good at overthinking.

Leaning back in his seat, the waterbender watched her and Lula. The clay piece had accompanied him across the world in his years of wandering and it was no easy experience to part with it. Tahrro had a way of getting attached to things, as his frantic, careless search for the precious bracelet could attest. Seeing Lula well received gave his thought rest. “You’re welcome, but even without her, you seem like the kind of person that can drag herself back out of darkness.” Even as he said it, he considered the downside to this. “But how long can someone continue doing so, when the task always falls down to them and no one else,” he mused aloud, looking to the side, no longer especially addressing her, just uttering a quieter thought to no one.

He thought he could glimpse it, the unspoken loneliness that plagued the young woman before him, the effort It took to always make it on your own that she tried to make light and trivial. Or perhaps he had an overactive imagination. When he looked back to her, a question accompanied the mystery in his eyes, that direct stare. “If you could reclaim anything you had lost in the past, what would it be?” He picked up the menus and placed them on the border of the table where someone might get them easier. “As usual. You don’t have to answer.”

[Saaga Sun]

Indeed Saaga had experience in pulling herself and others from misery, but she could have done well without darkness and depression in her life. She thought about how easy and relaxed it had been to live on her tiny island. She had known everybody there and her life had been pretty much paved for her. She would have become a master glassmith and married some young man who could’ve succeeded her father’s forge. They would have had children and life would have continued on and on for generation after generation.

But then her life had been uprooted by a chance, by an illness come out of nowhere and her hopes for a peaceful and harmonious existence had been shattered. Not only that but she had had to bear not only her own misery but that of others as well. If she didn’t show some back bone and usher everyone towards a new beginning, then who would. They had shown early on, that giving up wasn’t far from their minds.

Saaga wondered sometimes if it had been her fault, the sickness, the deaths. She had often been very unsatisfied with her life, wanting to visit other nations, live a little before settling down on the island. She had often feared that island life wasn’t enough for her, which was rather ironic considering how much she missed it now that she’d lost it.

She placed her hands on her lap and clenched them into fists, trying to push the thoughts away. Nothing could be gained with wallowing in depressing memories and guilt. It had been well over three years already; she was supposed to have come into terms with her past. She needed to move forward and stay strong. That was the only way she could honor the memory of her parents.

“If you could reclaim anything you had lost in the past, what would it be?” she heard Tahrro say and for a moment she did nothing but stared at him, eyes blank.

Then she answered without thinking: “My parents.”

She bit her lower lip and rubbed her forehead with her hand, embarrassed by what she had just confessed. Nothing made for better dinner conversation than talk of deceased family members.

“I’m sorry, that was…sorry,” she said quickly, closed her eyes for a moment and faced Tahrro again, pushing aside her sadness in favor of her usual bold exterior.

[Tahrro Gao Zhai]

When speaking of his past failures or hurts, Tahrro rarely felt depressed. All he experienced usually was emptiness. Every hardship he had ever endured had been a precious lesson and he would not forget how well they played into his life today. Had they not shaped him, he would be a far different person, a much less empathic and far more careless one. Perhaps some people enjoyed that, burying their thoughts, living for the moment and hoping for the best. It was what he did, but without needing to shy away from his memories in order to preserve his current mindset. He had dealt with his darkness and sometimes embraced it like a scaly snake the image of what it was. It did not trouble him, it did not make him feel misfortunate and it didn’t impede his growth. Of course, he had his bad days like anyone else.

She answered on a whim and fussed over covering it up. He brought his hands in an arch before his chin, considering her behavior. “What makes you feel the need to apologize?” I am the one who asked the question.” He didn’t have time to say something more because the waitress was back, overstacked with their order, nearly falling onto their table as she came. “Many noodles, two salads, sauces, beverages…” she listed, removing each like an acrobat did juggled balls. You had to admire her talent. When she was done, her face was abundant cheer again. “Would that be all?” Tahrro nodded for his part.

When she was gone, he was parting chopsticks. He pointed one at Saaga. “I’m getting the impression you don’t much like talking about the past, so I’ll ask you about the present instead.” Tahrro believed there was a difference between remembering events, be they good or bad, and wallowing in the misery their recollection inspired, but not everyone liked to remember as he did and he was forgetting that. “When you play pai sho, do you usually adopt offensive or defensive strategies?” Lowering the sticks into his noodles, he examined them. “Also, would you prefer me to shut up so you can enjoy your meal without being poked with questions, or should I give in to the desire of pelting you with more?”

Tahrro asked questions. He had genuine interest in having them answered as well. People were fascinating creatures to him, some more than others. If he was questioned in return, he chose what he wanted to answer to and how much he wanted to say, but he never resented people for being curious. As he could not immediately tell, she needed to spell It out for him if it was the case for her. Briefly distracted, he enjoyed a set of noodles. It tasted like his second home and made some distant part of him nostalgic, but it was a nice feeling. Memories of shared dinner, a past of smiles and joy, he had resolved he would cherish the good experiences and not let them be corrupted thoughts for being lost.

Regardless, the fact that they were lost would forever have a play in how he approached other people. It did not do to repeat mistakes of the past.

[Saaga Sun]

“What makes you feel the need to apologize?” I am the one who asked the question.”

Tahrro was right of course. There was no concrete reason for her to feel ashamed of her answer or her past. Things had happened to her, good things and bad things all jumbled together into a mess that had made her who she was today. She had already decided to live for herself and not be bothered by what others thought of her, so why start caring now? It was not like his opinion could change anything for the worse. He was only human, as was she and words and thoughts were not swords and daggers that could kill her. She needed to be less uptight about this.

The waitress came over, bearing the load of their dinner. As she was laying the bowls and plates on the table Saaga could feel and hear for that matter, her stomach growling. Well that at least was a natural response she did not feel ashamed of. She could not even remember if she’d eaten anything that day. She had a tendency of getting so absorbed in her work, she forgot everything around her and that included her appetite.

When the waitress was gone Saaga replied to Tahrro, shrugging her shoulders: “It’s not that I don’t like talking about it. Usually people just don’t ask about my past and when they do it takes me off guard.”

She parted her chopsticks and took a first mouthful of noodles, the warmth and taste of them playing around on her tongue before she swallowed. They tasted better than she had thought, very good in fact.
She took another bite and felt instantly happier. That was the magic only delicious food could provide.

“Don’t worry. I don’t believe in the concept of silent dinners. I think it’s sort of unnatural if there isn’t even a little bit of chatter at the dinner table,” she laughed using her chopsticks to stir up the noodles before continuing her quest to empty the bowl.

“Hmm, I’m usually too offensive for my own good. I sometimes plunge headfirst into action, make rushed tile placements and end up losing because I’m facing a more collected and defensive player. I’m lucky to have so many teachers that point out my flaws and let me grow as a player,” she said, thinking how she had plunged headfirst into action when meeting Tahrro too.
Learning to be a decent paisho player might help her learn something about the way she lived her life as well. She chuckled at the thought.

She wanted to ask something of Tahrro too, to even out the conversation, but she did not know what. Right now she seemed to be giving up more information about herself than she got out of Tahrro. Maybe it was wiser to let the conversation flow naturally and eventually she would be able to delve into his character too, without it being forced.